Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Being Lonely

Get back to where you once belong.

Today I feel down.

I think my sad day has been sparked by the haircut I had yesterday. I hate it. I thought I might like it more once I’d washed and styled it myself but sadly not. I actually felt like crying about it this morning, which sounds ridiculous and I managed to pull myself together before that happened. Yes, it sounds so vain to be so upset about your hair. Which grows back. But I am going to hedge my bets and say that if you’re reading this blog then you probably sympathise at least slightly. My feeling of hair inadequacy was not helped by seeing three girls on the tube to work this morning who all had lovely hair which resembled the style I’d actually wanted. Having had such long hair, it has truly been chopped. It’s too short, which I could handle, but the layers and shaping that have been put into it are just not what I wanted and will take ages to grow out. It just isn't ‘me’. All my ombre/balayage colour has also been cut out so I've currently got a very boring mop of hair on my head. And this is timed brilliantly with it being my birthday later this week. Hello crappy hair in birthday photos.

Sigh.

So like I said, the hair drama seems to have sparked a rollercoaster of sadness today. Mostly related to feeling lonely.

I have good friends, a lovely boyfriend and a supportive family and I enjoy my own company, but I still feel lonely. Like I’m missing something in terms of relationships with others. And maybe this has been highlighted to me by my aforementioned upcoming birthday celebrations?

All of my friends are pretty much ‘best friends’ if that makes sense. I have close friends from school and university who I love, but not many other friends. I work in a small, male-dominated environment where few people are close to my age. And aside from work, I’m not sure how you make friends as an adult? Join a club? Find a hobby?

Like most people, I blog because I enjoy writing, I like keeping an online diary and I wanted to chat to people who like the same things as me. The last point is an interesting one though. I know many bloggers and youtubers began their channel or blog because they wanted to talk about make up/cosmetics/fashion etc with other people who were also passionate about the same things. (And to avoid boring everyone in ‘real life’ with these topics). When asked what the best thing about blogging is, most people say it’s all the people they've met or connected with and the friends they've made through it. And I think that’s a really lovely thing.

But the internet can also be a very lonely place.

When everyone else is tagging each other in posts, blogging about their latest meet up or @replying each other about normal life things you sometimes can’t help but think...I am instagramming my ever-so-yummy looking lunch and wittering on about my latest sale bargain to absolutely no one.

There are girls who I chat to every now and again online, and they all seem lovely. But for some reason it’s never really ‘clicked’ for me making actual friends on here, and I've not built any substantial links with people. This isn't to say woe is me, and probably I just need to put myself out there a bit more. After all, everyone I have spoken to seems genuinely very nice.

But I’m often left wondering if maybe I’m not someone who makes friends easily. And why? Because I do try!

Please reassure me I’m not the only 20-something who feels lonely? Oh, and also that my terrible head of hair will grow. Preferably into something less terrible.


(Apologies for the change in tone on my blog today. This is probably the first truly personal post I've written).
Finally...the image above is from weheartit.com. If it belongs to you then please let me know and I'll remove/credit as appropriate. And yes, I know, this girl has perfect hair. Sigh.

6 comments:

  1. I have had so many bad hair cuts I can't even. Usually I find that even after a couple weeks of growing out a tiny bit it looks much better so FEAR NOT :)

    www.raspberphobia.com

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  2. I was thinking about this the other day and I really agree. I had a massive 'mare with my blog a few months ago and asked on twitter wanting some help and only 1 or 2 people got back in touch with me. I know that if it was anyone else then they probably would have got 10s of RTs and replies/emails. I put this down to keep ourselves to ourselves and not having any reason for people to dislike us. It's sometimes nice being a wallflower, but sometimes a bit demotivating when you see others socialising loads. I would rather be more popular in person than online though. xxx

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  3. Alright fine, I'll come live in your shed. As long as it has a kettle I'll be fine! xx

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  4. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog! Keep up the great work ♡

    PS: May I invite you to my giveaway?

    Win a SUITSUIT luggage set (value €407) on my blog:

    www.freshminhtea.com

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  5. Hey just found your blog. You are not alone, I totally get the loneliness thing. There is a brilliant website called meetup where you can join different things in your area. I moved to Surrey a couple of years ago and still don't feel truly settled, I only have a couple of good friends here. You really have to put yourself out there to meet people, but it's so hard.

    As for your hair, totally normal to cry after a bad hair cut. But it will grow back, I promise! I find sometimes after a couple of washes I can let it settle and make it my own.

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  6. Annie - Thanks for the reassurance! Yep I'm thinking give it a week or two from now and it'll start to do its own thing again :)

    Amy - Yeah I agree with you, I think it must come from that, just getting on with things and not being involved in any drama or being too in your face. Thanks for replying and telling me it's not just me!

    Kim - If you wouldn't mind, yes please. I'll even provide you with the Yorkshire Tea?

    Stripesandsnapshots - Thanks for commenting and popping up on my twitter : ) Ooo I've never heard of that website, thanks I'll have a look. Keep going, I'm sure you'll feel more settled in another year or so, but it is difficult to meet people and put down some roots. And finally, thanks for the hair reassurance! it still looks a bit crap but I am being less dramatic about it now and just having to crack out the curling wand a bit more often. xxx

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